Rowan Pelling

Profile: Full name: Dorothy Rowan Pelling Area of interest: Society, women's and family issues, sexual politics Journals/Organisation: The Daily Telegraph | Daily Mail Email: rowan.pelling@telegraph.co.uk Personal website: Website: Telegraph.co / Rowan Pelling Blog: Representation: DGA - assistant@davidgodwinassociates.co.uk Networks:

Biography: About: Education: St Hugh's College, Oxford: English Career: Following graduation worked for Private Eye; then invited to join Erotic Review (a spin-off of the Erotic Print Society) by co-founder Jamie Maclean, became editor then co-owner following a management buy-out; The Independent on Sunday: columnist, 2002/2007; The Sunday Telegraph: columnist, 2007- Surrey proves the ultimate turn-off at Erotic Review, The Daily Telegraph, 11th September 2004 The Erotic Review uncensored: It was edited by 'IoS' columnist Rowan Pelling. She'll be played by Rachel Weisz. But there is more, so much more. By Anthony Barnes - The Independent, 2nd Apri 2006 Current position/role: The Daily Telegraph: Columist also writes/written for: also writes a sex advice column for the Mail on Sunday Other roles/Main role: Other activities: Served as a Booker Prize judge, see: Booker judge hails writing talent, BBC News, 26th August, 2004 Disclosures: Viewpoints/Insight: Article: Named the Belle de Jour of the net, Gareth Walsh and Nicholas Hellen, The Times, 27th March 2005 Interview: "The British love a posh woman talking dirty", PaulKirkley.com - © Cambridge Newspapers Ltd, June 2006 Interview: With Rowan Pelling, by Dave Tomlinson, 2007 Broadcast media: Regular guest on BBC Radio 4 programmes and TV appearances IMDb Video: Controversy/Criticism: Awards/Honours: Scoops: Other:

Books & Debate: Erotic review bedside companion (2000) OCLC 45306575 The decadent handbook (2006) OCLC 59187945 Latest work: Speaking/Appearances: Current debate:http://www.intelligencesquared.com/people/p/rowan-pelling

The Daily Telegraph: Column name: Remit/Info: Society, women's and family issues, sexual politics Section: Comment Role: Commentator Pen-name: Email: rowan.pelling@telegraph.co.uk Website: Telegraph.co / Rowan Pelling Commissioning editor: Day published: Wednesday Regularity: Weekly Column format: Average length:

Articles: 2012 Children have become hi-tech addicts - We should limit toddlers' access to gadgets - 23rd May I’d love to do a Beard but may end up a Barber - Being in touch with your inner teenager doesn’t stop you sometimes pining for her dewy epidermis - 9th May I couldn’t help feeling some sympathy for my stalkers - Celebrity gardener Alan Titchmarsh could have a nice sideline trapping stalkers - 2nd May To Brighton, for kissing lessons - Kissing a stranger for a radio documentary brought back terrible memories - 25th April Brighton casts its spell on a new generation of Pellings - Genteel mummies who steer their charges past the slot machines fail to understand how a small child’s heart yearns for joyous vulgarity - 11th April Vulgar party animals can be profound too - Who is to say that the recently lauded introverts have it right - 4th April The magic of King’s Cross - King's Cross has been so transformed it's as though a wand has been waved - 21st March Don’t let the screens turn my children into zombies - Parents of young children need to grasp technology - 18th March Meat-lovers be warned: steak will be very rare - Lovers of a full English should not worry about the latest warnings over red meat - 14th March Why on earth did I think I could make people laugh? - A rash promise made last November to try her hand at being a stand-up comedian to raise money for International Women’s Day has come back to haunt Rowan Pelling - 7th March Why Blighty breeds a better class of bounder - Privileged people cheat more because they're better educated and so more able to assess risk - 29th February Why my sister never liked pretty dresses - Children who feel they're the 'wrong' sex need better understanding - 22nd February The perfect cocktail for old age - Many of us sleepwalk towards factory-farmed care, without taking responsibility for our impending infirmity - 15th February Punch still knocks them dead after 350 years - It would be a shame if lily-livered parents brought to an end centuries of slapstick humour - 8th February If the plane crashes, I want to know where I’ll end up - We should make plans about how we want to be cared for when we're infirm, and what happens to us when we die - 25th January Please, David Cameron, spare us the marital details - Let the Prime Minister's memories of his wedding night remain secret - 18th January Toddlers don’t need Peppa Pig to go astray - Infant misbehaviour is unlikely to be derived from cartoon characters - 11th January I'm going to stop procrastinating, soon... - Maybe the time has come to tackle those 1,000 unanswered emails - 1st January

Articles: 2011 The worst part of Christmas is all that blasted paperwork - Christmas isn't a time of giving - it's a time of wrapping - 28th December Who wouldn’t hitch their wagon to Hitchens? - Two hours of the great controversialist's time could never be cause for regret - 21st December Without a firm grip you’ll get off to a shaky start - Most Brits were instructed to deliver a firm handshake: resolute, but not bone-crushing - 14th December The hidden costs of romance - Most of us measure love in tears and ecstasy, but not Julie Ann Zelent - 7th December Cameron should not treat women differently - What women don’t want is a patronising prime minister who wants to appoint a female special adviser - 15th November How I lost my heart to stable boys and steeds - An overdue celebration for K M (Kathleen) Peyton, the queen of pony book authors - 9th November Women can put the fear of 50 behind them - Women nearing 50 needn't worry that they will be either a domestic drudge or predatory cougar - 2nd November 'We Need to Talk About Kevin': When does a little horror turn into a psychopath? - Watching the film 'We Need to Talk About Kevin', about a juvenile psychopath, the manifestations of Kevin’s 'otherness' seemed alarmingly familiar to many parents - 26th October You’d have to be barmy to get your body embalmed - Putting your remains in the hands of others can only result in a grisly end - 19th October Spare children from online pornography - Government moves to limit access to sexual material on the net will be a relief to all worried parents - 12th October A man who can say it with flowers is irresistible - Nicolas Sarkozy's appeal to Carla Bruni lay not with his power but with his plant appeal - 28th September English apples are the superfood of the gods - It's no wonder that sales of berries are exceeding applies if supermarkets don't stock exquisite English varieties - 21st September Playground joshing has become a hate crime - Children's innocence is being corroded by the thought police - 15th September Working mothers just adore their child-minders - Off to school – but it’s the child-minder I hate to lose - 7th September Diana Athill, the woman who spoke so well I couldn’t understand her - The Norfolk writer asked me a question at the Voewood Festival, but I had no idea what it was - 31st August Sally Bercow may not care, but her family certainly will - The Speaker's wife has put advancing her career before heeding her husband's advice - 24th August I guard my knick-knacks as fiercely as Gollum - The Clearance Brigade should check that those of us who hoard are ready to part with our clutter - 17th August Women pilots were not just a flight of fancy - Lt-Cdr Sarah West is poised to become the first woman warship commander in the Navy’s 500-year history - 10th August Michael Fish failed so utterly that it made him a hero - The weatherman is famed, if not forgiven, for not predicting the Great Storm of 1987 - 3rd August A college reunion reveals the truth about my old student friends - Planning a student reunion? Stand back as a mass of insecurities and fears come bubbling back to the surface - 27th July The English male will leap at any chance to wear a frock - The interesting thing about these fancy dress aficionados is that they’re, to a man, stocky, balding rugby-playing types - 13th July Save us from the BBC's New Generation Thinkers - Rowan Pelling deplores the bunch of young academics who fought their way through to the final 10 in a Simon Cowell-style talent contest - 29th June I want to take this candy out of the mouths of children - The government is right to wage war on the sexualisation of children - 8th June This Prime Minister’s wife dances to a completely different tune - Samantha Cameron is the standard-bearer for a generation that retains its youth - 31st May We want the Duke of Edinburgh to be gruff and curt, not cuddly - What I admire about the Duke is the wry, brusque demeanour that gives no quarter to softies anywhere - 18th May I’ve renounced the devil – now I have to revise for my GCSEs - In today's world, being a godparent is surely not just about rejecting the devil - 11th May Kate Middleton, and the fine art of moulding a new husband - As Kate Middleton says she's happy to be a housewife, Rowan Pelling offers tips on how to deal with the biggest domestic chore of all - turning a new husband into the man you want him to be - 8th May Even couples who click should never share email - Couples who share bank accounts are nuts, but nowhere near as barmy as those who share an email address - 4th May So, it’s not just footballers who play away from home - The quickest way to defuse a kiss and tell story is to admit the offence, rather than handing 50 grand to your lawyers - 27th April Diana Wynne Jones: a wizard writer whose young life was far from magical - Long before Harry Potter, Diana Wynne Jones was writing magical children's stories. But her own childhood was more of a horror story - 30th March Children will read if they see Mum and Dad doing it - Adult book-phobes will scoff at Michael Gove's ambition for schoolchildren to read 50 volumes a year - 23rd March We're waiting for the very last white dot on our TV - The bullying enforcement of digital viewing is enough to make switch off - 16th March Some people will risk it all to cling to a jet-set lifestyle - It is hard to hear of Jeffrey Epstein's loan to the Duchess of York without thinking of Edith Wharton's Duchess of Beltshire, cherry-picking the New World arrivistes - 9th March When did you last hear any witty banter in a Starbucks? - The conflation of caffeine and debate once launched a thousand wits, and gave birth to both revolution and the Enlightenment - 2nd March Jacqui Smith must think there’s one porn every minute - Why does Jacqui Smith insist on playing the wounded ingénue - 23rd February The agony of the dentist's drill brings us all closer together - None of my mother's children could hear the word 'dentist' without gibbering with dread - 16th February Honesty about bedbugs can make you feel a little rash - It slowly dawned on me that the bloody stain was probably not the bug, so much as the gory dinner it had made out of me - 9th February Music from the movies has a hold on me that Bach can't match - Barry's music is on speed-dial to certain whirlwind emotions - 2nd February I was lucky that my school was dominated by women - The decline of all-female education is something to be lamented - 26th January I asked for no fuss on my birthday – and that’s what I got - One friend was on her way to Paris. The other was having a blow-dry... - 19th January I’d rather be bankrupt than fail to stump up for my round - Hands off a sacrosanct British tradition - 5th January Elton John and David Furnish are no more selfish than the rest of us - Whatever the couple's motivation for having a surrogate baby, few people can become a parent and remain selfish for long - 1st January

Articles: 2010 I'm glad stockings have suspended their decline - Nothing has lost women so much power in the sex wars as their repudiation of the suspender belt - 29th December The magic of Christmas distilled into one fabulous show - Rowan Pelling and her six-and-a-half-year-old are beguiled by Beauty and the Beast at the National Theatre - 22nd December Forget Huw Edwards – the BBC should give Terry Wogan the royal wedding - I'd prefer a little more warmth and Shakespearean dash for the BBC's royal coverage - 15th December Anything goes in the modern, multicultural Nativity play - Rowan Pelling says that a school's version of the Nativity probably made as much sense to the children as the old Biblical version - 8th December Don’t scoff – lookalikes have a proud history of serving Britain - Doesn’t anyone ever wonder why Jennifer Aniston has flown all the way from LA to open a supermarket in Penge - 1st December Let’s ditch the Thai fishcakes and bring back proper boozers - Gastro-pubs turn a good profit – but where can punters go to nurse an honest pint - 24th November I do hope this thieving couple get their deserts - If you cannot be trusted to accept hospitality, you may as well eat at home - 17th November Mummy’s upstairs, said my son. Oh no she wasn’t... - When it comes to leaving children on their own, the legality is unclear - 3rd November If you think you've had the train journey from hell... - Try sharing a carriage with seven roaringly drunk men - 27th October Not so funny when a drunk drops dead - Dipsomania is one family tradition that isn't worth continuing - 20th October The writing's on the wall for the wonderful fountain pen - How can an awkward scrawl be preferable to the lovely, rippling flow of ink flying across the page - 13th October Ovaltine stirs up my starchy romance - Writers often mine their spouses' language but most lovers mimic their partners every bit as acutely - 6th October Prep schools know how to inspire boys - No wonder so many parents are removing boys from the state system and placing them in single-sex prep schools - 29th September The child-friendly divorce has arrived - If children's needs are to be primary – which clearly they ought to be – we need a better system of divorce law than the outmoded, adversarial model - 22nd September Who doesn't thrill to the hum of a Spitfire's Merlin engine? - The Battle of Britain 70th anniversary air show was immensely moving – even for the girls - 8th September Battling Miliband brothers are a terrible sight - Rowan Pelling is fascinated – and appalled – by the idea of two siblings being pitched against one another - 1st September Jane Austen? Sorry, never heard of her - It's better for the customer to be ignorant than the bookseller - 1st September Only the hard mutts should feel the force of a new law - A "dog attack" is often little more than a pet being exuberant or defensive - 25th August There are few things more stressful than a trapped cat - Rowan Pelling sympathises with Graeme Swann, thinks George Smiley is a better spy than James Bond will ever be, and reports a wedding message from David Cameron - 18th August Goodness, isn't it a big mummy that baby's having! - Rowan Pelling thought that baby showers were an American idea that would never catch on here - 11th August The prostitute who wanted to sue me... - As editor of the The Erotic Review, gaining notoriety in an obscenity trial was my greatest ambition - 7th August Meerkats and Mojitos . . . you'll have a wild time at the zoo - London Zoo's regeneration is a model of imaginative conservation - 4th August It's no surprise that iPad users love a bit of old-fashioned filth - Every technological innovation from the printing press onwards has swiftly been adapted for the lucrative vending of smut - 28th July Why can children no longer run naked on the beach? - It's demented to deck out six-year-old girls like wags on the beach - 21st July Sorry Lembit, a real character doesn't have to boast about it - Lembit Opik keeps sitting bolt upright in his political grave - 30th June Does a lover really have first claim on breasts? - Women's bodies have become so associated with sex that now a mothers' magazine has called breast-feeding 'creepy' - 29th June Our glorious libraries civilise us all - Rowan Pelling defends the world of book-lovers, self-improvers, unfettered imaginations, armchair travellers and generally like-minded souls - 27th June Sebastian Horsley: the last of Soho's magnificent derelicts - The death of wit and dandy Sebastian Horsley marks the end of an era - 19th June The feasting and fun that are the magic of travel by train - Rowan Pelling has rediscovered the many rewards of train travel - 9th June Without us woolly thinkers, churches would be deserted - The failings of woolly thinkers are probably less alarming than ferocious adherence to dogma - 2nd June Women only snoop to find out how men work - Some women develop their IT skills simply so they can read their husband's email - 26th May Ed Miliband and David Miliband are a rare case of brotherly love - We are assured that the Milibands remain best of friends - 19th May Letters to Juliet: I can think of other heroines I'd rather write to - A new Hollywood film features the desperate lovers who write missives to Shakespeare's Juliet. Why do they bother - 11th May Ian Fleming still has a licence to thrill - Could Brighton take a villainous panto lesbian to its heart - 5th May John Lewis has ransacked our domestic fantasies - Rowan Pelling finds that the retailer's latest advertisement moves her to tears - 28th April Let's live death to the full - Going out with a bang like Malcolm McLaren should be compulsory - 25th April world where authors wield poison pens - Writers have the veneer of civility - 21st April Where readers are seduced by gossip and naked curiosity - Rowan Pelling welcomes the beginning of the literary festival season - 14th April We're in a state over nannies - No aspect of modern life is conducted with such tear-stained hysteria and partisan fervour as our discussions over childcare - 4th April Age is a thing of the past - Like Peter Pan, two entire generations have refused to grow up - 21st March School children need sport, not fitness tests - Since when was it the Government's job, rather than the school bully's, to tell you your child was a tub of lard - 17th March Leave out the better halves - Giving up on policies, the party leaders parade their wives instead - 14th March We would all benefit from five-star labour wards - Midwives do their best, but there simply aren't enough of them - 10th March Middle-class mothers should have a scam of their own - Slashing child benefit for wealthy families is the kind of arrow in Middle England's cashmere-clad back that could lose David Cameron the election - 3rd March I'd rather work for Mr Angry than a quiet assassin - Real bullies are sly, manipulative and masters of psychological warfare - unlike Gordon Brown - 24th February Forget the Tate, Mummy, I want to see the scaffolding - Fabulous views of London's traffic are far more thrilling to small children than modern art - 17th February It’s so difficult to know Mr Right from wrong - Women of child-bearing years are bombarded by conflicting relationship advice - 10th February The sexual revolution has mellowed men like Martin Amis - Men have evolved, too: Martin Amis's generation of fathers is so much warmer than its predecessor - 3rd February Is this another triumph for the finger-jabbing blame culture? - The litigation culture makes Britain a poorer place - 27th January Stay-at-home babies should be shown the door - Rowan Pelling salutes the Italian minister who believes a rule should be passed for children to leave home at 18 - 20th January Why lament the decline of the family stroll? - Rowan Pelling is dubious about the benefits of a family walk - despite research suggesting its value - 13th January So the G spot doesn't exist after all? Thank God - It always seemed to me that the G spot had been invented solely to terrorise women - 6th January

Articles: 2009 Sales are a steal – it's the shoppers being fleeced - All the best evidence suggests we only have one shoy at this life, so why burden your existence with the stale leftovers from the Christmas retail orgy - 30th December If he doesn't like the Lego, I'll sell it to pay off the mortgage - Tracking down a Lego Star Wars kit is like looking for an osprey egg - 23rd December Forget the family silver –who gets the festive fairy? - One of the saddest side-effects of our obsession with "lifestyle" is the tyranny of trendy trees - 16th December Cherie Blair can't stop counting the pennies - For some people, there are never enough trinkets, lecture tours and jaunts to pop stars' mansions to go round - 9th December Satanic activity in the Forest sounds familiar - The Rev Nick Bromfield, of the Forest of Dean, should look more closely at the supposed satanists in his parish - 2nd December My cheque stubs tell my life story better than any diary - How will I placate my godson or keep track of life's milestones if the chequebook is phased out - 25th November Can a man put a price on wedded bliss? Yes – £18,000 - Men generally don't rush to the altar, but endless surveys show they're happier when hitched - 18th November Shocking – but only because Belle de Jour wrote so well - The unmasking of call-girl blogger Belle de Jour as a serious research scientist appears to contradict all we think we know about the oldest profession. But the British have more secrets than we care to admit - 17th November There's a big difference between banter and bullying - I'm no Harriet Harman, but how can professional women in the 21st century allegedly be written off as "bimbos"? - 11th November 2009 I wish the BBC would treat people as adults - To watch the BBC’s bosses writhe over first the Ross and Brand debacle, then the recent Frankie Boyle affair, has been like seeing Violet Elizabeth Bott throw a tantrum - 4th November Happiness is a child wearing a bin on his head - At last, research has confirmed that having children is exhilerating and life-enhancing - 28th October Crime writers will never lose the plots - Has any tale been more novelistic than the trial of Edward Erin for administering poison to his lover Bella Prowse - 21st October I bar-hopped and sunbathed during my trip to a war zone - Tourism can be a better friend to the peace process than petitions - 14th October A dickens of a mess in the BBC drama department - Britain's most celebrated practitioner of the bonnet drama, Andrew Davies, is irate that the BBC is only interested in the most well-known classics - 30th September As Michelle Obama has shown, women will only bury the hatchet in their enemy's head - I can ignore slights against myself, but anyone who attacks my husband is marked for life - 23rd September Why posh totty drives us potty - The trial of Guinness heiress Clare Irby shows that we're captivated by posh girls behaving badly - 20th September The death of Marcus the sheep was a lesson to us all - Why are animal rights protestors so terminally dim, after the uproar at Lydd Primary School over the slaughter of Marcus the sheep - 16th September Would my husband have loved me if I hadn't worn short skirts? - Men and women are looking for very different things from a relationship - 9th September Teenagers binge drink because adults think it is cool and exciting - Our drinking culture is so entrenched that it's no wonder teenagers turn to alcohol - 2nd September Even Egypt's pharaohs suffer from backpacker fatigue - Hordes of tourists are damaging Egypt's ancient tombs, but the replicas planned for the gawping masses will be no more alluring than Las Vegas - 26th August Put your foot down – ignore those back-seat drivers - Marital bliss depends on separate vehicles - 19th August Whisky: a cure for swine flu, and so much more - It's a rare day when I don't have a hip flask on my person: you never know when someone will assault your personal space with a cough or sneeze - 5th August Where else would you see a rock star helping the WI? - Glastonbury, Port Eliot and Latitude make a more relaxed 'Season' than Glyndebourne and Ascot - 29th July Blonde, bland, busty Barbie - the embodiment of evil is back - Hamleys' prediction of bumper sales of the 50-year-old doll is depressing - 22nd July Our gardens are still a little breath of fresh air - The drastic erosion of Britain's domestic garden space in recent years has been an absolute disgrace - 15th July Men are redundant, but let's keep them anyway - Without men, there would be no one to remove spiders from the bath - 8th July Low-achievers deserve prizes, too - School prize-giving is a great way of honouring high-fliers - but we shouldn't overlook the low-achievers - 1st July Berlusconi's vanity makes him truly unattractive - I find it far easier to understand Max Mosley's admission that he paid young women to spank him than Berlusconi's belief that lissom beauties flood to his villas without inducements - 24th June Women must learn that no good comes from a kiss and tell - Women have much to learn from men about courtesy in matters of the heart - 10th June Oh for those days of catfights and sequinned G-strings - They don't make bonkbusters like they used to - 3rd June There's more fun to be had on an allotment than gardening - Allotments should be about escapism not how much produce you can grow - 27th May MPs' expenses: does a £1,000 rocking chair help them do their job? - If Ikea furniture is good enough for us, it's good enough for MPs - 20th May Newly-weds are too greedy for their own good - When once they were content with saucepans, today's couples demand iPods, plasma TVs and a Nintendo Wii - 13th May The five-star eccentric who made all our lives look drab - Many moons ago, when I worked as a dogsbody on Private Eye, I witnessed an intriguing after-hours sub-culture - 6th May Words fail me when it comes to public speaking - Sir Jim Rose thinks that children should be taught to "recognise when to use formal language." Damn right, they should - 29th April Look where the morals of Monopoly have got us - This innocent-looking board game has probably had a corrosive influence on western morals - 22nd April Even baby babble is now recorded as a learning target - The need for constant form-filling treats childcare professionals like morons - 15th April If hostile jibes about being fat worked, we'd all be thin - The plan to make GPs chivvy their patients into losing weight is bound to end in big, fat failure - 8th April All those blue movies are boring - ask an eroticist - High quality pornography does not exist - 1st April Would Marie Antoinette really have graced the Aperitif Bar in Blackpool's Imperial Hotel? - Blackpool has become a desolate playground for drunken stag parties - 25th March Saving the planet the Vivienne Westwood way - Fashion isn't going to change the world. But don't try telling that to the fashionistas - 18th March At least cads in blazers gave you something for your money - 'Far better to be conned by a man who looks like David Niven in his prime,' - 11th March Oh, the joy of sex education: is there a right way to tell them? - Most teens would rather chew off their own arm than be open with their parents on any topic, but particularly sex - 25th February One person's cathartic release can be another person's torture - Venting your feelings in print can be very therapeutic, but nor for all concerned - 18th February Who cleans up after the Cambridge class warriors? - Undergraduates at Emmanuel College, Cambridge, are up in arms - 11th February Snow is the friend of the congenital skiver - I do not think Britain's schools and industry grind to a halt; I think they decide to stop functioning - 4th February Fat isn't just a feminist issue – it's everybody's problem now - It seems no one is free of the modern contagion that is poor body image - not even Gordon Brown - 28th January So, she was your first love. It's time you got over it, boys - Can falling in love at an impressionable age damage your future happiness - 21st January You can’t make it a crime to be connected - The Government's war on the middle classes is a waste of time and energy - 14th January Wedgwood's demise is a blow to an era of aspiration - The news that Wedgwood has gone into receivership strikes a blow at the very heart of middle England - 7th January

Articles: 2008 Skye is the limit when you have to choose names - How do thousands of parents arrive at the same decision when naming their children? - 31st December 2008 Austerity Christmas needn't be miserable - If you are tightening your belt this Yuletide, take some tips from my late mother. Austerity Christmas was pretty much trademarked by Ma Pelling, cash-strapped mother of five - 24th December 2008 Men have such a gift for wrapping presents - A new gift-wrapping service for men too hopeless to wrap their presents makes you proud to be British - 17th December 2008 Those who can teach just aren't being allowed to - It would be nice to think only those with a vocation will sign up to be teachers, but many will enlist for the pension and long summer hols - 10th December 2008 The dearer the wedding... - Grandiose nuptials don't just bankrupt the unhappy couple; they empty out the wallets of the guests - 3rd December 2008 A twisted sense of humour can help in this twisted world - There's something drastically awry when social workers are dismissed for forwarding tasteless emails but keep their jobs when a child in their care dies - 26th November 2008 Bad at dancing, seduces like a moose - Many believe Shaw's maxim that dancing is "a vertical expression of a horizontal desire". In other words: dance like an elk, seduce like a moose - 19th November 2008 School rules won't stop a snooty parent - on the Government's perpetual attempts at social engineering through education - 5th November 2008 Local pubs staring extinction in the face - pubs are closing as 1·8 million fewer pints are being sold every day compared to last year - 29th October 2008 Women make better bigamists - Is there any such thing as a normal family life - 15th October 2008 Recession brings out Ryanair's good side - While the global economy may implode, customer service improves - 8th October 2008 Freshers, look out for the dons - a carapace of cynicism to see Freshers through the inevitable traumas of university life - 1st October 2008 Jacqui Smith is not interested in the welfare of prostitutes - 24th September 2008 The pitfalls of web regulation - The founder of the world wide web faces a mammoth task in trying to instigate some sort of kite-mark to discriminate science from falsehood - 17th September 2008 I don't like routine, so why should baby? - 10th September 2008 Slow down - you're driving me insane with speed rage - the undiluted loathing that those of us who live on residential side streets or in sleepy villages feel for beastly, whizzing vehicles - 3rd September 2008 Suddenly it's the rage to be pushy - It used to be clear what pushy meant - Violet Elizabeth Bott's father - but it is now seen as a virtue - 27th August 2008 Enid Blyton is Britain's best loved author; how times have changed - 20th August 2008 My 40-year-old friend should hearten those too scared to wed - 13th August 2008 Visit this hidden treasure before everyone else - 6th August 2008 Tesco isn't the only place to find literary satisfaction - 30th July 2008 Mrs Brown's holiday plans land Gordon Brown in deep water - 23rd July 2008 Be proud if your daughter becomes a bunny girl - 16th July 2008 My time with the hard rump of the spanking community - 9th July 2008 A real shopping experience beats eBay anyday - 2nd July 2008 Why do we have to go to France for good manners? - 25th June 2008 The nightmare of breast feeding in public - 18th June 2008 The Apprentice: Everyone's better for failing - 11th June 2008 B&Bs' fate lies in the hands of bureaucrats - 4th June 2008 Mothers must lead the fight against knives - 27th May 2008 Credit crunch: Who still has money to burn? - 21st May 2008 Wild we may be, but we are far from wet - 14th May 2008 Seeing more of my children, and doing less - 7th May 2008 Opinion turns in Edwardian Dad's favour - 30th April 2008 Dealing with Britain's binge-drinking drunks - 5th March 2008 Rowan Williams, consumerism and children - 27th February 2008 We neglect the elderly - 20th February 2008 Be very afraid of Britain's teenage girls - 13th February 2008 The latest Northern Rock investment hotspot - 6th February 2008 Without a school, a village won't live long - 30th January 2008 Why women fight the 'Daddy Wars' - 23rd January 2008 Family history a matter of identity - 16th January 2008 James Purnell's new Renaissance is hollow - 9th January 2008 A girl's best friend will be her girl friend - 2nd January 2008

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